eat you up inside
you spun them around
like a spider spins its trap
prey to predator
it's an addiction that slowly kills you
like a bad drug you keep coming back
you inject it into your bloodstream
wanting to escape from the shadows in your mind
the trauma in your past lives
you try to run and hide by moving continents
on the move constantly
you attribute it to your aquarian sign
but you use it once again to escape your problems
in the moment you don't care about anyone but yourself
in the moment all you feel is elation, the ultimate feeling that you're alive
that your spirit isn't dead inside
that you are a part of this world - excited to be one
but when withdrawal comes, when it is time to leave
you are left to pick up the pieces once again
to hide all the lies you told
it weighs heavier each time
it gets harder to breathe
you get stuck in this sinking mud
you don't deserve any help so why should you even ask for it (you never ask for help anyway)
you put yourself in this place
it is your own responsibility to get out
but your only way of getting out is to escape and dig yourself a bigger hole
and the only way you know to feel alive is to return to the lies you told.
is there a god that can save you ?
or did god place you here to keep making the same mistake till you finally learn the lesson?
or will you fail over and over again till you cannot return
till you don't recognize yourself in the mirror.
and you wouldn't even dare to look yourself in the eyes
because you can't even face your own self - how can you let anyone see inside your soul? -
what is this life you have created? is it a life you want to be in?
do you have the courage to tell your truth? to be your own?
nobody knows but yourself. it's time you let go. let be. to ask for what you need.
not to push away when you do need.
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