which explains my disappearance for two years and a bit.
i guess i figured that if i wanted to disappear and be gone forever this would be the time. No one would care, no one would find out where i was...
the reason why i was so self involved, was because i was trying to adjust to this new world,i remember feeling so incredibly lost with nothing strong to hold grasp of. there was no clear identity of who i am, but rather the decision on who you should be.
i learn to cope by changing myself, the way i speak, the way i dress, my terminology.
but somewhere along the line, it fell apart; and this identity i set up for me wasn't really me.
this makes me so incredibly aware of being a misfit.
I don't think anyone i personally know really understands this feeling, i try not to dwell on it too much but it's one of those things that you have to deal with everyday because it is right in front of you.
i suppose i should stop thinking too much, like i said too much for my own mental health.