Friday, November 19, 2010

22. days like these

are always lurking around the corner, waiting to grab you unexpectedly and drag you off with you clawing trying to get away. but in the end, you let go and accept the fact that you can't do anything about days like these.

i never understood how humans can be so viciously cruel to another human being. I never understood why it is some people are just plain mean and out to get you - when there is no need to. What is the harm with speaking nicely? I wish people would understand that at the end of the day, we're all just human beings, made out of the same stuff - we should treat each other equally, nice, not rude, and hurtful. Why would you hurt another person, when you know yourself you would hate to be in that position. This is in context of a stranger to another stranger.

i have a lot of emotions - sometimes i let it get to me, i cry when it's plainly inappropriate to do so. but I do, in fact, it's rare that I don't cry at least once every few days - by cry i mean fully cry.

I'm not sure how to look at this sometimes.. It's positive, it means I can feel - emotions is important. my every being is due to this over-emotions I feel. Empathy, passion, hurt, happiness, disappointments, compassion. It's an overload. There's never really a feeling of inbetweens for me. It's either the extreme versus the other extreme.

I used to hate being this way - but I know no other way, I accept this, and I embrace it now, i rather feel too much than to not feel at all.

depression is a funny thing, it helps me to write my thoughts, it helps to evaluate life, but it brings me so down before i come to this. i seriously cried while I was on shift (work)

that's a story for another day though.

i'll get through this, it's just another day. Tomorrow is a new day - new experiences, new beginnings. I'm just going to breathe all of this in, embrace this, and let go.

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