11. these days

it's been a while since i wrote, assignments seem to be piling up. The latest news so far, is that I've handed in my two weeks notice into work. My final day is October the 7th. A day before a two year anniversary. Life has sorta been up and down. It's been good days.. trying to find my feet, to find the right people to be friends with. sort of.

there's still a bit of adjustment period, i suppose. But all i know is that i have to keep trying. it's too hard sometimes. At the moment I'm struggling to complete my assignments; i've reverted back to polaroids. 

Home, life at home has been good. My grandmother is here, i enjoy having her around. It feels like home. tis is a good feeling. 

I feel like I haven't been to Carrical in two weeks. It's really weird but i feel so at home, when talking to Alan, or to James, especially to Conrad. Misfits in society, perhaps I'm just like them. A misfit, one that will never fit into what we deem as normal society. There's always 'something wrong' like an aura being emitted from you. 

something. 

I was introduced to this guy's work, 'Kip Fulbeck: The Hapa Project'

incredibly inspiring. Anyone, who suffers from a hybrid/split identity, should have a look at this. He photographs people, against a white background, simple honest portraits. Then he asks him to answer a question 'What are you?' Their responses are written and placed under the photograph. 

I feel a bit lost in this western society, Australia and it's educational values are so based around western ideals and themes. I get so tired of being different sometimes. Especially at uni, I'm so exhausted, I hate being here sometimes. The only thing that keeps me going is the things I'm learning, but at the same time, some lecturers are so completely closed minded (just like most of the students) 

i suppose the only way I can get over this, is to find a misfit society that i can fit into or embrace it and simply let it go....

somehow i don't see any way. 

gotta run, class has started.

as always,

el