two.

a battle in my mind.

i've always found it difficult to fall asleep. it's always just before i sleep, my mind is the most active. I've tried to write it all down so it would be clear and i could drift off to a dreamless sleep, but it doesn't ever work. Oh, the irony. I'm going to be writing most of my blogs late at night because i cant sleep. haha.

everyday seems like a struggle. a struggle to stay positive, to find some sort of meaning to my everyday life, and to do something productive each day. Today, we had to stick our photos for group assessment in class. I don't know about other photographers, but as i progress as a photographer, i find it even more terrifying when my work gets shown to others. It really is another aspect of my life that i have to work on: the confidence. The point is, today some people actually liked my photograph. these are people whose in my opinion, is a tremendous photographer of their own right. it is a good feeling.

i'm writing this down because moments like these i often forget. I've always been a thinker from the get go. i believe i am my harshest critique. Because of this, i tend to forget about everything positive, and simply focus on everything that is wrong, bad. my ears(technically, my mind) are immune to anything good. i know I'm not the only one that goes through this;another example today, my lecturer was asking us to critique our own images but to always start with the positives. maybe it's just photographers, who knows.

on another note, i have been in bed since 9.30pm(lights off and just laying in bed) but 2 hours and 30 minutes has passed and look where i am.

'i am a visual communicator but i communicate best through words. for if words don't exist, where would we be? stuck in a abyss of misunderstanding.'

always,

el